Fell

Shit happens.

When we hold on to somethin,

we hold on hard.

We gave all we have,

all that we could give,

till the very last drop of everythin.

But things happen.

Shit happens.

When you have nothin to hold on to.

Not even faith or trust.

No matter how hard you gripped on it,

there will be nothin.

Then,

you fall.

I fell.

p.s.

Its bleedin, inside.

Death

We could escape everythin.

We shouldnt be afraid of Death.

Should not at all.

Sometimes,

death is not a bad option, at all.

We suffer everyday when we're alive,

arent we?

With death,

we could escape everythin.

We dont have to deal with people that we hate.

We dont have to say a word.

Lyin there,

silently, motionless.

Aint that ideal?

It sounds kinda great for me though.

p.s.

Dyin bit by bit.

公平

在這個世界裏

真的有公平可言嗎

當我們從媽媽的跨下爬了出來以後

我們就要接受這一切

接受在這個世上

所有不公平 & 不平等的對待

不公平的例子有很多

人家那麽高, 你那麽矮
人家那麽帥, 你那麽丑

人家那麽瘦, 你那麽胖

人家那麽聰明, 你笨個屁啊

人家出身在富裕的家庭,

你家算些什麽 ?

以上的例子或許是注定的

我們可以另當別論

當你為某人或某事

付出了100%

你得到的

是100%的回報嗎

很多時候

付出的 & 得到的

都不成對比

所以

這個世界

真的沒有公平可言

:)

p.s.

So Neglected. 

Years

Wish I have that kind of love either.

Gong Xi Fatt Chai

Well

Its the second day of CNY

Ive got so borin in ma home

so TV is ma only entertainment.

While I was zipzappin on the TV

I watched this movie

"The Lost Valentine"

and

I cried

Its CNY, and I friggin cried.

The story is just so touchin,

its about a lady who waited her husband,

who was MIA in the World War II,

for 66years.

66 YEARS!

How beautiful is that.

Wish I have that kind of love either.

And by the time her husband is back,

she cant even hold him,

because he is dead.

T^T

I cried like nothin on earth

Hmmm...

Of course,

I cried so hard because,

there was somethin else botherin ma mind either.

Well,

sometimes its really up to us,

to make our love great.

BTW

Valentine's Day is comin.

p.s.

Splashed.

Late

But the tears still hit me.

Last Saturday night,

was a hell-yeah night.

We did had fun.

And I went to Port Dickson,

with ma families and ma love ones.

That was lovely too.

Still remember on what I posted before ma bday?
I said that Ive been spendin ma bday,

cryin in ma room for the past two years.

Well,

this year,

I didnt cry in G6, obviously.

But the tears still hit me.

They're just...

Late.

I still cried like hell today,

watchin videos of people proposin,

watchin the CNY MV of My Astro.

Even lookin into YOUR face,

made me tears up.

And I dont know why.

But Im sure that these tears,

are not caused by sorrow.

^^

p.s.

Just a slice would do.

:)

10th

Hope things would be fine.

Oh, well...

A year has gone.

Its December 10th again.

Yeap,

its ma birthday.

I aint gonna pretend like I dont know bout it.

I have a friggin presentation tomorrow, on ma birthday!

Can you imagine how I feel?

But,

ma friends and I are headin down to G6,

when the dark comes.

Dont tell ma parents if you knew them. :)
Thanks.

What I wanted to say is that.

Ma birthday has not been the greatest day in ma life,

for the past two years.

I spent ma birthday on ma bed,

grudging and cryin,

feelin bad for myself.

So Im a little Bday-Phobia now.

Hope things would be fine.

If its not fine,

at least I will be grudging and cryin in G6.

LOL

p.s.

Happy Birthday, boy.

December

Cherish your love.

Its December.

One more month to go,

for us to be in 2012.

Time flies,

I still remember the day,

when I post about ma 2011 resolutions.

It was just like yesterday.

Now,

we have less than 30days,

to do what we wanna do,

before the next year comes.

So,

Cherish you time.

Cherish your love.

Cherish yourself.

:)

p.s.

I have no expectation.

Noticed

There are many things where we wouldnt notice.

There are many things in life,

that we would neva see.

Things

Thoughts

Feelins

People

You name it.

The Truth, especially.

Sometimes,

we would be so obsess on somethin,

and we start to neglect others. 

Its like we are blinded,

blinded by love,

blinded by money,

blinded by sorrows.

It takes time.

It takes time to get out from the fog.

But how long would it be?

Just like Ive said.

There are many things where we will neva notice.

Just like you neva notice me.

p.s.

I wanna watch Twilight. 

Diploma-ed

Its the day where lots of flower shall be given.

The day is comin.

Its the day where I got to verify what Ive done,

for the past 2 and a half year.

Ma diploma.

Its the day where ma loves ones,

and ma course mates,

would gathered together,

and celebrate the joy of gettin out of hell.

* Im still in Hell. Advance Diploma *

Its the day where lots of photographs should be taken,

capturing the joy,

the tears,

and the tears of joy,

on our face,

of what we've been through together.

Its the day where our parents would be proud of us.

Seeing their child walkin up to the stage,

hopin that they wont fall down,

and feelin warm in their heart.

Its the day where lots of flower shall be given.

Not just flowers.

Wishes as well.

Its the day where we finally say Goodbye.

Farewell, ma friends.

p.s.

I want no flower,

I want no bear,

I want no balloons,

I just want you to be there.

颗

上帝

在制造人类时

已经很明确地表示了

一个人

一颗心

人类没有

两颗

三颗

或四颗心

那是因为

我们都只注定

要有一颗心

一个人

一颗心

很难吗?

好久不见

你还在我左右

好久没有看看你

你过得还好吗?

最近

似乎忽略了你

有生气我吗?

这几天

很常遇见你

看到你的身影

我很开心

也很庆幸

因为

你还在我左右

黄锦杰

好久不见

p.s.

Nothin is Irreplaceable.

Toilet

Cameron Highland is a cold place.

Alcohol is a good way to warm yourself up.

Combinin both just seems to be a good thing.

^_^

* Im just givin excuse *

LOL

I was in Cameron Highland.

We decided to buy some beers for the night.

And we did.

We dont buy ordinary beers like Tigers or Heineken.

We bought Strong Beer.

Beer with 12% of alcohol.

We got back to the apartment.

Drink them, before our sleep.

As we drank all up,

and the light was off,

we were all on bed,

and I had a urge to Vomit.

I rushed to the toilet.

All I remember is that I entered the toilet,

thats all.

I have no idea whether I vomit or not.

Ma memory only resumed when I step out of the toilet.

I was too dizzy, then I sat down on the floor.

I was still too dizzy, then I laid down on the floor.

and

I fell Asleep.

LOL

Ma friends wondered why I was out for so long,

then came and seein me sleepin on the floor.

They got me back into ma bed,

and they laughed on me in the mornin.

Can you imagine if they were all asleep,

and I would spend ma night in front of the toilet?

@.@

****************

Is it just me,

or you all would get wet when you are washin the toilet?

p.s.

So much to overcome.

God save me. 

Arbitrary

Its Automatic,

and I just cant help it.

That Heart,

was so broken

and it still is.

No effort was made,

to recover it,

to heal it.

And it will stay broken.

Whats more?

There is this force,

pushin me away,

from all that I could have.

Its Arbitrary,

I just cant help it.

p.s.

Im not blaming,

I neva did.

I just want you.

Thats it.

誘惑

Temptations are everywhere.

你知道嗎

那是一個循環

一個不死的循環

它一直都存在

測試着人們的堅定

測試着人們的毅力

但

不是每個人都通過

很多人都隨着它走

你也一樣嗎？

就算這一次

你投降了

下一次呢？

難道每一次

都要因爲它

而轉換自己嗎

這是一個循環

一個不死的循環

Temptations are everywhere,

but whats your choice?

p.s.

I like to hug ma mom,

when Im vulnerable.

Clairvoyance

I can see through them

I have this gift,

born with it.

Im sensitive to Things.

Feelins.

Symbols.

Signs.

Actions.

Atmosphere.

I can see through them,

know it well.

And understand whats the whole meanin behind it.

Six Sensed,

Clairvoyance,

you name it.

And recently,

I see Signs.

Signs that I wish I would neva see at all,

but I did.

And most of all,

Im afraid of these signs.

It would hurt me in a way that,

cant be handled by me.

p.s.

I should Smile.

Heart

If theres a heart,

that has been stabbed repeatedly,

that has been smashed repeatedly,

that has been tear repeatedly.

With the times that you cant count,

you will feel nothin else.

You'll be numb.

********

I dont mean to bring up any fight.

I just say what I feel.

Im sorry.

p.s.

Be in ma shoes,

would ya? 

Doubts

Everyone has Doubts.

So do I,

I have doubts,

lots of them.

I just cant stop second guessing myself.

I understand that I aint perfect.

I understand that I aint flawless.

I understand that Im not good enough,

and thats what makes me so insecure,

all the time.

Ignore me.

p.s.

Tell me more.



Changes

You can be surprise to see this.

Ma life is Miserable.

I somehow lost ma direction,

I dont seems to know what I want.

Changes should be made.

I needa reduce ma Coffee Intake.

You can be surprise to see this.

Even Im surprise that I actually think in this way.

Of course, there are reasons behind why I feel so.

I will try ma best to reduce.

A coffee a day.

Diet.

I know that Im fat.

You dont have to tell me and make me feel bad bout it.

Applause for you,

I will diet.

Punctuality
Im always late.

And I just cant figure out why.

Even if I wake up at 10am for the 12pm class,

Im still LATE.

I will be punctual start from today, 

hopefully.

*************

Sorry to ma blog,

for neglectin you.

p.s.

You're ma Homework.

八卦

那是一個聖地

有很多的花

有很多的園丁

一個園丁

只需培養一種花

生長在固定的範圍裏

有個園丁

很愛説話

老是管別人的八卦

忙著告訴別人

他們的花

不美，不好，不香

忙著告訴別人

他們的花

總是喜歡往外爬

而他

忽略了

他的花

他的花

已經爬過了欄杆

爬過了籬笆

蔓延了整個村莊

全都只因爲

他愛八卦

不管好自己的花

有智慧的人

應該懂得我在寫啥

p.s.
Im so Green.

Two?

Then I looked back to the bus driver.

It was late in the night,

I needa go to somewhere,

so I went to take a bus.

I've waited in the bus stop for quite some time,

and finally a bus came.

An empty bus came.

The bus has no light on on the seats at the back.

A guy and me went into the bus,

the guy first, then me.

When I took out RM1 as I wanna pay the fare.

The bus driver asked me,
" Dua orang arh? "

The first thing I did,

I looked beside me,

theres no one.

OMFG

Then I looked back to the bus driver.

The driver pointed to the guy earlier.

And I was like,

" Phewww... "

Then the guy came back and paid.

I was so afraid, honestly.

p.s.

No hehe.No haha.