Late

But the tears still hit me.

Last Saturday night,

was a hell-yeah night.

We did had fun.

And I went to Port Dickson,

with ma families and ma love ones.

That was lovely too.

Still remember on what I posted before ma bday?
I said that Ive been spendin ma bday,

cryin in ma room for the past two years.

Well,

this year,

I didnt cry in G6, obviously.

But the tears still hit me.

They're just...

Late.

I still cried like hell today,

watchin videos of people proposin,

watchin the CNY MV of My Astro.

Even lookin into YOUR face,

made me tears up.

And I dont know why.

But Im sure that these tears,

are not caused by sorrow.

^^

p.s.

Just a slice would do.

:)

10th

Hope things would be fine.

Oh, well...

A year has gone.

Its December 10th again.

Yeap,

its ma birthday.

I aint gonna pretend like I dont know bout it.

I have a friggin presentation tomorrow, on ma birthday!

Can you imagine how I feel?

But,

ma friends and I are headin down to G6,

when the dark comes.

Dont tell ma parents if you knew them. :)
Thanks.

What I wanted to say is that.

Ma birthday has not been the greatest day in ma life,

for the past two years.

I spent ma birthday on ma bed,

grudging and cryin,

feelin bad for myself.

So Im a little Bday-Phobia now.

Hope things would be fine.

If its not fine,

at least I will be grudging and cryin in G6.

LOL

p.s.

Happy Birthday, boy.

December

Cherish your love.

Its December.

One more month to go,

for us to be in 2012.

Time flies,

I still remember the day,

when I post about ma 2011 resolutions.

It was just like yesterday.

Now,

we have less than 30days,

to do what we wanna do,

before the next year comes.

So,

Cherish you time.

Cherish your love.

Cherish yourself.

:)

p.s.

I have no expectation.

Noticed

There are many things where we wouldnt notice.

There are many things in life,

that we would neva see.

Things

Thoughts

Feelins

People

You name it.

The Truth, especially.

Sometimes,

we would be so obsess on somethin,

and we start to neglect others. 

Its like we are blinded,

blinded by love,

blinded by money,

blinded by sorrows.

It takes time.

It takes time to get out from the fog.

But how long would it be?

Just like Ive said.

There are many things where we will neva notice.

Just like you neva notice me.

p.s.

I wanna watch Twilight. 

Diploma-ed

Its the day where lots of flower shall be given.

The day is comin.

Its the day where I got to verify what Ive done,

for the past 2 and a half year.

Ma diploma.

Its the day where ma loves ones,

and ma course mates,

would gathered together,

and celebrate the joy of gettin out of hell.

* Im still in Hell. Advance Diploma *

Its the day where lots of photographs should be taken,

capturing the joy,

the tears,

and the tears of joy,

on our face,

of what we've been through together.

Its the day where our parents would be proud of us.

Seeing their child walkin up to the stage,

hopin that they wont fall down,

and feelin warm in their heart.

Its the day where lots of flower shall be given.

Not just flowers.

Wishes as well.

Its the day where we finally say Goodbye.

Farewell, ma friends.

p.s.

I want no flower,

I want no bear,

I want no balloons,

I just want you to be there.

颗

上帝

在制造人类时

已经很明确地表示了

一个人

一颗心

人类没有

两颗

三颗

或四颗心

那是因为

我们都只注定

要有一颗心

一个人

一颗心

很难吗?

好久不见

你还在我左右

好久没有看看你

你过得还好吗?

最近

似乎忽略了你

有生气我吗?

这几天

很常遇见你

看到你的身影

我很开心

也很庆幸

因为

你还在我左右

黄锦杰

好久不见

p.s.

Nothin is Irreplaceable.

Toilet

Cameron Highland is a cold place.

Alcohol is a good way to warm yourself up.

Combinin both just seems to be a good thing.

^_^

* Im just givin excuse *

LOL

I was in Cameron Highland.

We decided to buy some beers for the night.

And we did.

We dont buy ordinary beers like Tigers or Heineken.

We bought Strong Beer.

Beer with 12% of alcohol.

We got back to the apartment.

Drink them, before our sleep.

As we drank all up,

and the light was off,

we were all on bed,

and I had a urge to Vomit.

I rushed to the toilet.

All I remember is that I entered the toilet,

thats all.

I have no idea whether I vomit or not.

Ma memory only resumed when I step out of the toilet.

I was too dizzy, then I sat down on the floor.

I was still too dizzy, then I laid down on the floor.

and

I fell Asleep.

LOL

Ma friends wondered why I was out for so long,

then came and seein me sleepin on the floor.

They got me back into ma bed,

and they laughed on me in the mornin.

Can you imagine if they were all asleep,

and I would spend ma night in front of the toilet?

@.@

****************

Is it just me,

or you all would get wet when you are washin the toilet?

p.s.

So much to overcome.

God save me. 

Arbitrary

Its Automatic,

and I just cant help it.

That Heart,

was so broken

and it still is.

No effort was made,

to recover it,

to heal it.

And it will stay broken.

Whats more?

There is this force,

pushin me away,

from all that I could have.

Its Arbitrary,

I just cant help it.

p.s.

Im not blaming,

I neva did.

I just want you.

Thats it.

誘惑

Temptations are everywhere.

你知道嗎

那是一個循環

一個不死的循環

它一直都存在

測試着人們的堅定

測試着人們的毅力

但

不是每個人都通過

很多人都隨着它走

你也一樣嗎？

就算這一次

你投降了

下一次呢？

難道每一次

都要因爲它

而轉換自己嗎

這是一個循環

一個不死的循環

Temptations are everywhere,

but whats your choice?

p.s.

I like to hug ma mom,

when Im vulnerable.

Clairvoyance

I can see through them

I have this gift,

born with it.

Im sensitive to Things.

Feelins.

Symbols.

Signs.

Actions.

Atmosphere.

I can see through them,

know it well.

And understand whats the whole meanin behind it.

Six Sensed,

Clairvoyance,

you name it.

And recently,

I see Signs.

Signs that I wish I would neva see at all,

but I did.

And most of all,

Im afraid of these signs.

It would hurt me in a way that,

cant be handled by me.

p.s.

I should Smile.

Heart

If theres a heart,

that has been stabbed repeatedly,

that has been smashed repeatedly,

that has been tear repeatedly.

With the times that you cant count,

you will feel nothin else.

You'll be numb.

********

I dont mean to bring up any fight.

I just say what I feel.

Im sorry.

p.s.

Be in ma shoes,

would ya? 

Doubts

Everyone has Doubts.

So do I,

I have doubts,

lots of them.

I just cant stop second guessing myself.

I understand that I aint perfect.

I understand that I aint flawless.

I understand that Im not good enough,

and thats what makes me so insecure,

all the time.

Ignore me.

p.s.

Tell me more.



Changes

You can be surprise to see this.

Ma life is Miserable.

I somehow lost ma direction,

I dont seems to know what I want.

Changes should be made.

I needa reduce ma Coffee Intake.

You can be surprise to see this.

Even Im surprise that I actually think in this way.

Of course, there are reasons behind why I feel so.

I will try ma best to reduce.

A coffee a day.

Diet.

I know that Im fat.

You dont have to tell me and make me feel bad bout it.

Applause for you,

I will diet.

Punctuality
Im always late.

And I just cant figure out why.

Even if I wake up at 10am for the 12pm class,

Im still LATE.

I will be punctual start from today, 

hopefully.

*************

Sorry to ma blog,

for neglectin you.

p.s.

You're ma Homework.

八卦

那是一個聖地

有很多的花

有很多的園丁

一個園丁

只需培養一種花

生長在固定的範圍裏

有個園丁

很愛説話

老是管別人的八卦

忙著告訴別人

他們的花

不美，不好，不香

忙著告訴別人

他們的花

總是喜歡往外爬

而他

忽略了

他的花

他的花

已經爬過了欄杆

爬過了籬笆

蔓延了整個村莊

全都只因爲

他愛八卦

不管好自己的花

有智慧的人

應該懂得我在寫啥

p.s.
Im so Green.

Two?

Then I looked back to the bus driver.

It was late in the night,

I needa go to somewhere,

so I went to take a bus.

I've waited in the bus stop for quite some time,

and finally a bus came.

An empty bus came.

The bus has no light on on the seats at the back.

A guy and me went into the bus,

the guy first, then me.

When I took out RM1 as I wanna pay the fare.

The bus driver asked me,
" Dua orang arh? "

The first thing I did,

I looked beside me,

theres no one.

OMFG

Then I looked back to the bus driver.

The driver pointed to the guy earlier.

And I was like,

" Phewww... "

Then the guy came back and paid.

I was so afraid, honestly.

p.s.

No hehe.No haha.

Brain

But there is worse thing comin through.

I was workin from last Thursday to Sunday,

in MidValley.

Due to the fact that it is so far away from Setapak.

So I went to ma friend's place to sleepover,

to ensure that I wont be late for work.

LOL

The second day of workin,

which is the day Im still in Setapak,

and gonna bring over ma stuff to sleepover at ma friend's place,

by that night.

I woke up Late.

Well,

wakin up late is already bad enough.

But there is worse thing comin through.

Me and ma friend took a cab to the LRT station.

By the time we reached,

I looked through ma bag,

I found out that I neva bring ma wallet.

Then we go all the way back to ma condo,

to get ma wallet.

By the time I reached ma condo,

I ran like crazy to ma unit.

I find everywhere,

but I still dont see Beth, ma wallet.

"Dont be lost again, please",

thats what I have in ma mind.

I called ma friend in the cab,

and asked him to search for ma wallet once again.

Seconds later, he called.

"Your wallet is in your bag."

W

T

F

Im that stupid.

Im that brainless.

Ma eyes are that small.

At the end of the day,

I kissed goodbye to ma RM14,

to the cab driver.

p.s.

How many time you wanna change?

花

空蕩蕩的房間,

空蕩蕩的腦袋,

雖然心裏住了個人,

怎麽還是感覺空蕩蕩.

揮之不去的思念.

一再的纏繞,

一再的撕掉,

一切的好.

空氣凝結了.

困着,

屬於我的,

屬於你的.

你遺忘了握在手裏的花

它凋零了,

它凋零了.

Kissed

There is no fuckin scratches or marks.

I Kissed ma neighbour's car.

Shit.

For the first time in ma life,

I knocked a car, with a car.

I was reversin the car,

to get it out from ma house.

Ma neighbour's car is in front of their house.

Ma feet was holdin on to the break,

but it doesnt work.

I dont know why.

Then,

~~ Bomp ~~
" Fuckin Shit.. " I said.
Immediately,

I went down and check out both cars.

Phewwwww...
No scratch, No marks.

Then I left, and go out.


By the time I was home,

ma brother started to make it up like a big deal.

There is no fuckin scratches or marks.

What the fuck is him barkin about?
The car is not even his.

I will pay with ma own money if they really want it.

So shut the fuck up.

p.s.

It aches,

all the time.

Melts

And the ice-cream was meltin, fast.

Alright,

I was drivin yesterday.

I went to the bank then McDonald's.

I wanted to wait for ma mom for her massage in MCD,

so I bought a sundae chocolate.

Just after I paid,

ma mom called and said that shes done.

=.=

I grabbed ma sundae chocolate and got into the car.

When I was waitin for the traffic light,

I took ma sundae chocolate, 

wanted to eat it.

Then I realized that,

I neva take a spoon.

And the ice-cream was meltin, fast.

I started to 'Drink' the dessert in ma hands,

I reached out ma tongue to lick it in the cup.

Ewww...

LOL

Sooner,

I realized that the lady driver in her car next to mine,

lookin at me with her jaw dropped.

Imma like,

"What the Hell.."

I got so embarrassed and its Green!
I speed and left her behind.
I wish she could neva recognize me.

*********

Jayesslee will be performin in KL !!
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
Who wanna sponsor me?

p.s.

Work it out, dude!

Words

It doesnt matter if you are just jokin.

Its really important,

for you to know what the fuck you are talkin,

cause it matters.

Words Hurt.

It doesnt matter if you just speak instantly,

It doesnt matter if you are just jokin.

It hurts anyway.

Especially,

when what you said aint gonna make anythin right,

aint gonna make things go better,

then why dont you just zip it?

All your words would make me feel even worse,

which Im already feelin it.

Its literally torturin me.

You dont have to be that sacarstic.

**********

I push people away, when Im moody.

Sorry for that.

p.s.

I feel leftout.

Gone

Im not sure its stolen, or lost.

Hmm...

I lost ma wallet, Beth.

:'(

Its really funny when I told others this,

and they asked me " Why? "

Imma like,

How am I suppose to know?

LOL

Well,

Im not sure its stolen, or lost.

Its just Gone.

And I realized that,

I dont even have a photo of Beth.

How sad that is.

Just before you have questions on what happened,

let me answer them first.

How many money was inside?

Roughly Rm25 to 35..

Any credit or debit card?

Yup, has blocked it.

IC and License?

Yea, gotta go redo them.

Made police report yet?

Not yet, will do so later.

Well,

losing Beth, reminds me of Adam.

Haiz

p.s.

Im a horrible human bein.

Addictions

Their voice are like Amazing.

Im officially FREE from ma finals!
Yeeepeee !!
So,

there are a few things that Im addicted to these days.

I cant live without 'em, seriously.

I really mean it.

♥ Jayesslee ♥

Its obvious if you have ma facebook,

you'll know that I cant live without these two angels.

Their voice are like Amazing.

I posted their covers over and over and over again,

for like more than a hundred times.

LOL

Alright,

I know that Im a little bit outdated.

But this is really nice!

I had to put a pause on it,

because of ma finals.

But now,

I can watch like there's no tomorrow.

Hmm...

You may not know who he is.

He is MinHua, and he is extremely cute!

LOL

He covers both korean and chinese songs,

which are nice as well.

You may search MinHua's Facebook Page,

if you wanna know more bout him.

p.s.

Im a very insecure person.

Ever

Have you ever feel the ache in your heart,

but you covered it up with smile?


I did,

all the time.

p.s.

Theres nothin that I can say.

Smelly

You should really see ma mom's face.

Alright,

I went to Jusco with ma parents and ma niece.

We were headin to the car park after all the buyin.

ma parents were behind me,

like a few steps away.

After I stepped on the escalator,

I realized that,

I NEED TO FART.

I tried to hold it back,

as ma parents were behind me,

but I just cant.

And,

I farted.

LOL

Ma mom was behind me.

Out of all sudden,

She shouted,

" Who fart?! OMG! Who???! "

I laughed like shit in front of her,

but she never know,

cause she was so busy wavin away the smell.

LOL

You should really see ma mom's face.

She was so irritated by the fart.

But she neva suspect that its me,

she asked ma niece instead.

LOL

I tried to tell her for so many times,

but I just cant.

Ma words turned to laughter everytime,

then ma mom just ignored me.

Please dont tell ma mom that is was me.

LOL

p.s.

I doubt,

all the time.

Nonsense

You cant leave a world that is within yourself.

Well

Some people are just Silly.

They do things that nobody understands,

except for themselves.

Of course,

Im not sayin that they are wrong by doin so.

But its just..... silly,

for me.

You cant leave a world that is within yourself.

You cant stop bein a part of it,

because you are a part of it.

Words are just nonsense.

You will get your ass back to it,

sooner or later.

Its just a matter of time.

And of course,

you cant leave the world by removin a few of them,

while you still have another 100+ in your list?

This is seriously nonsense.

**********

I'll have ma first paper on the comin Wednesday.

Hoooray !!

* sadly *

Work hard,

Study hard,

people.

p.s.

I like the Candles. 

<3

Tumble

Ma world tumbles down.

Things fell into pieces.

Emotions are magnified.

I feel more than I usually do.

Im miserable.

Im sorry.

p.s.

Its been a long time since I cried this bad.